Understanding Social Anxiety
Table of Contents
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is a persistent, intense fear of social situations where you might feel judged, embarrassed, or scrutinised by others. When you have social anxiety, even everyday interactions can feel uncomfortable.
What Causes Social Anxiety?
Understanding where social anxiety comes from can help . There’s rarely a single cause – instead, it typically develops from a combination of factors that come together in unique ways for each person.
Environmental and Life Experiences
Life experiences, especially during your formative years, significantly shape how you view social interactions. Perhaps you experienced bullying, harsh criticism, or a particularly embarrassing moment that left a lasting impact. Maybe you grew up in an environment where making mistakes felt dangerous, or where love felt conditional on being perfect.
Personality and Learned Behaviour
If you’re naturally more sensitive or introspective, you might be more prone to noticing and internalising social feedback. Perhaps you learned early that avoiding difficult situations kept you safe from uncomfortable feelings. These coping strategies made sense at the time, even if they’re now limiting your life.
Symptoms of Social Anxiety
Social anxiety shows up differently for everyone, so recognising your unique pattern of symptoms is very important.
Emotional and Cognitive Symptoms
Your mind might feel like it’s working overtime to keep you safe in social situations, running through scenarios like “What if they think I’m boring?” or “What if I say something they don’t like?” You might notice your inner voice becoming more critical, or feeling heightened awareness of how others might perceive you. These thinking patterns are actually your mind’s dedicated attempt to help you navigate social situations safely.
Physical Symptoms
Your body has a remarkable ability to prepare you for what it perceives as important situations. In social settings, you might notice your heart beating faster, your hands feeling shaky, or butterflies in your stomach. These physical responses show just how much your body cares about helping you succeed socially. With understanding and gentle practice, you can learn to work alongside these responses.
Behavioural Symptoms
You might find yourself naturally gravitating toward quieter participation in social settings, speaking more softly, or choosing spots where you feel most comfortable. Perhaps you’ve developed thoughtful strategies like bringing a trusted friend to events or thinking through conversations beforehand. These behaviours show your creativity and self-awareness in managing social situations.
What Does Treatment for Social Anxiety Look Like?
The most important thing to know about social anxiety is that it’s highly treatable. With the right support and approach, you can learn to navigate social situations with greater ease and confidence.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a gentle, collaborative approach that helps you understand the connections between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Together with your therapist, you’ll explore the thought patterns that fuel your anxiety and learn practical skills to challenge and change them.
This isn’t about forcing positive thinking – it’s about developing a more balanced, realistic way of viewing social situations.
Exposure Therapy and Gradual Confidence Building
Exposure therapy might sound scary, but it’s actually a gradual, supportive process. You’ll work with your therapist to slowly and safely face social situations that cause you anxiety, starting with the least challenging and gradually building up your confidence.
This process happens at your pace, with plenty of support and preparation. Each small step helps your brain learn that social situations aren’t as dangerous as they seem, building your confidence naturally over time.
How Do You Know If You’re Ready for Support With Social Anxiety?
Deciding to seek help is a deeply personal choice. Here are some gentle signs that professional support might be helpful for you.
Avoiding Social Situations or Opportunities
If you find yourself consistently turning down invitations or opportunities because of anxiety, you might benefit from support. This could look like avoiding work events, declining social invitations, or choosing career paths that limit social interaction.
Feeling Overwhelmed by Fear of Judgement
When the worry about what others think becomes constant and overwhelming, it may be time to seek help. If you find yourself analysing every interaction for signs of disapproval or feeling paralysed by the possibility of making social mistakes, therapy can provide relief.
Struggles With Confidence and Self-Esteem
If your self-worth feels heavily dependent on others’ approval, or if you consistently view yourself harshly in social situations, working with a therapist can help you develop a more stable, compassionate relationship with yourself.
Wanting to Build Healthier Relationships
If social anxiety is preventing you from forming or maintaining the relationships you desire, professional support can help you develop the confidence and skills needed for meaningful connections.
Meet our therapists specialising in working with Social Anxiety in Hong Kong
Michael Beckham
Clinical Counsellor
Michael Beckham is a US-trained and licensed Psychotherapist with 19 years of experience helping clients navigate life’s challenges with compassion, expertise, and care. He assists his clients in understanding how they see themselves, how they see the world, and how they see their place in the world.
Dr. Edward C. K. Lam
Clinical Psychologist
Edward is a U.S.-trained and licensed Clinical Psychologist in the state of Massachusetts, now bringing his expertise to Hong Kong. With extensive experience across various settings, Edward has helped clients become stronger, more independent, and resilient in the face of challenges. He creates a supportive and non-judgmental environment where clients can explore their struggles and engage more fully in life.
Dr. Aurélie Comes
Clinical Psychologist & CBT Therapist
Aurélie is an experienced Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT) who trained and worked in the UK’s National Health Service. In addition to her CBT specialty, she also qualified as an Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Practitioner.
Teresa Chan
Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist
Teresa is a UK-trained specialist who has worked one-to-one with clients in the field of clinical mental health since 2011. Born and raised in the UK, she qualified as an accredited Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) practitioner and spent 8 years working within the National Health Service (NHS) before relocating to Hong Kong in 2018. A native English speaker who also communicates in Cantonese, Teresa holds an undergraduate and master’s degree in Psychology, alongside postgraduate training specialising in CBT.
Josanna Lai
Clinical Psychologist
Born and raised in Hong Kong, being fluent in English and Cantonese, Josanna has worked as a clinical psychologist for over twenty-six years in Hong Kong and Australia in diverse clinical settings including child assessment center, inpatient PTSD wards, outpatient psychiatric center, university counseling service, NGO for special education needs and certainly private practice.
Dr. Christine Mok-Lammé
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Mok-Lammé is a US trained clinical psychologist licensed in the States of Colorado and Massachusetts. She has worked in the field of psychology in various settings since 2012. She has a wealth of experience working with adults who face difficulties due to complex traumas, challenging family dynamics, and relationship problems.
Dr. Melissa Chan
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Chan is a UK trained Clinical Psychologist, who has worked in the field of mental health taking up clinical and research roles in the community and academic settings for ten years. She is experienced in treating people with symptoms of depression and anxiety disorders (e.g. social anxiety, bipolar tendencies etc). She also works with people who are struggling with low self-esteem, stress, grief and bereavement, adjustment difficulties and those…
Dr. Karen Wai Liem
Clinical Psychologist, Counselling Psychologist, and Aviation Psychologist
Dr. Liem is a Clinical Psychologist, Counselling Psychologist, and Aviation Psychologist based in Hong Kong. She provides psychotherapy for adolescents, adults, and couples facing psychological or relational challenges. With over 15 years of clinical experience in Hong Kong and overseas, she has worked in diverse settings.
Dr Elaine Ching
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Ching is a UK trained Clinical Psychologist, offering support to adults with difficulties around anxiety, low mood, stress and burnout, self-esteem, childhood or event specific trauma, interpersonal relationships, and life adjustments (e.g. relocation, grief, chronic physical health, third culture kids). She also has experience with individuals with individuals with emotional
Dr. Natalie Loong
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Natalie Loong is a California licensed clinical psychologist with years of experiences working in community mental health, outpatient, residential, and private practice settings in Hong Kong and the United States. As a bilingual psychologist, Dr. Loong provides services in both English and Cantonese and has extensive experiences working with adults, adolescents, and children from diverse cultural and…
Dr. Edward C. K. Lam
Clinical Psychologist
Edward is a U.S.-trained and licensed Clinical Psychologist in the state of Massachusetts, now bringing his expertise to Hong Kong. With extensive experience across various settings, Edward has helped clients become stronger, more independent, and resilient in the face of challenges. He creates a supportive and non-judgmental environment where clients can explore their struggles and engage more fully in life.
Bhavna Bharvani
Clinical Counsellor Relationship Counsellor
Bhavna is a US-trained Licensed Professional Clinical Counsellor, registered with the California Board of Behavioural Sciences (LPCC 10182). She started out practicing in San Francisco, where she worked with individuals, couples, teenagers, and LGBTQIA+ folks with chronic and complex trauma. She worked across a range of settings including community mental health, schools, and residential substance use treatment centers.
Stephanie Rose
Counselling Trainee
Stephanie is a counsellor who supports clients who are struggling with anxiety, depression and/or stress, as well as life challenges such as relationship issues, work related pressures and navigating change. Stephanie has experience working with clients to safely process past experiences and equip them with coping strategies to thrive in the face of future difficulties. Stephanie approaches her work in a collaborative, person-centered manner progressing the therapeutic work in a non-judgmental and empathetic way that suits the client’s pace.
Meet Our Full List Of Counsellors Here!
FAQs About Social Anxiety in Hong Kong
Can Social Anxiety Start in Adulthood?
Yes, social anxiety can develop at any stage of life. Major life changes, increased social pressures, or new challenging situations can trigger social anxiety even in people who previously felt confident. Adult-onset social anxiety is completely valid and very treatable.
How Long Does Treatment for Social Anxiety Take?
Every person’s journey is unique. Some people begin feeling more confident within a few weeks, while others may need more time to work through deeper patterns. What matters most is finding your own pace and being patient with your process. Healing isn’t linear, and small steps forward are still meaningful progress.
Can Social Anxiety Be Managed Without Medication?
Many people successfully manage social anxiety through therapy and lifestyle changes alone. Others find medication helpful, especially initially. There’s no right or wrong choice – only what feels right for you. The most important thing is finding an approach that helps you feel more like yourself in social situations.
